A generation ago the first "test tube baby" was born in Great Britain via in vitro fertilization (IVF) in 1978. Since then, more than three million children have been born with the help of reproductive technology. In fact, America's first test tube baby has had a baby of her own: Elizabeth Comeau, 29, delivered her first son, Trevor James Comeau on August 06, 2010. The advent of IVF provides a readily available option for single people and same-sex couples wishing to have children and with test tube baby technology the presence of a father can be deleted from the family equation. As the number of children growing up without a father continues to accelerate, attention must be focused on what the affects of father absence are on the children's emotional development.
The negative effects of father absence have been well documented and the statistics are grim:
* 72% of all teenaged murderers grew up without fathers. 1
* 75% of teen suicides occur in single-parent families. 2
* 90% of all homeless runaway children are from fatherless homes. 2
The decline of fatherhood is a major force behind many of the most disturbing problems that plague America: crime and juvenile delinquency; premature sexuality and out-of-wedlock births to teenagers; deteriorating educational achievement; depression, substance abuse, and alienation among adolescents; and the growing number of women and children in poverty. 3
Fatherlessness is a social problem exacerbated by the breakdown of the traditional family, the glamorization of single motherhood and the denigration of fatherhood.
In today's brave new world, in vitro fertilization is considered a commonplace procedure utilized by infertile couples and single women all over the world. As society evolves into this new era, we must consider the value of the traditional family structure, the rise in father absence, and the detrimental effects it has on children's cognitive and emotional development. The daunting psychological challenges confronting children that do not have both parents must be recognized as an alarming societal dilemma. Embracing IVF technology without fully understanding the consequences on these children's futures is irresponsible and short sighted.
Minggu, 25 Juni 2017
Kamis, 08 Juni 2017
Fatherhood Programs Help Your School Or Organization Grow
Fatherhood programs can not only help your school or institution connect better with men but also create some lasting benefits for all people involved. Here are four things to know about what fatherhood programs or presentations can do for your group.
1. You will empower men to be more active in their families.
Times have changed and men must no longer limit themselves to just the roles of just 9-5 workers who have no genuine contact with their kids. However, for many men there is still a divide between wanting to spend more time with their kids and knowing how to be active with their children. When you build programs that help men be better dads, you teach men how to move from being just a parent to an involved daddy.
2. You will create a more stable home environment for the children in your schools.
A parent who knows how to parent and nurture their children will have more chances to build a stronger home for their kids. When you teach men how to embrace fatherhood, you teach men to be present and responsive to their kids. Like a foundation in a building, this investment in the unseen support structure of fathering pays off. Knowledge creates power. This empowering of dads creates strong family foundations.
3. Dads will start to volunteer and participate more in your other offerings.
Here is the thing that many program coordinators aren't aware of: many men are uncomfortable in school settings. Women dominate most educational settings and it can be intimidating for some men to enter into these political structures. By offering fatherhood programs that help men understand their roles with their children, you are signaling that you are a "man friendly" institution and the you are doing everything you can to acknowledge and accept their gifts of time and presence.
4. Programs taught by men for other men model good parenting behavior.
As your programs grow and you can begin to train and utilize men as presenters and instructors, you will be providing a role-model of strong fathers. Although female instructors are very capable to teach essential concepts, younger and new fathers will especially benefit from having male mentors in training positions. There's an old adage that says "iron sharpens iron," and this is especially true in helping men become good parents.
Although fatherhood programs in your school or program will initially seem to be for the good of the men themselves, you will find that your entire community will gain from the time and resources spent on teaching men to be good dads
1. You will empower men to be more active in their families.
Times have changed and men must no longer limit themselves to just the roles of just 9-5 workers who have no genuine contact with their kids. However, for many men there is still a divide between wanting to spend more time with their kids and knowing how to be active with their children. When you build programs that help men be better dads, you teach men how to move from being just a parent to an involved daddy.
2. You will create a more stable home environment for the children in your schools.
A parent who knows how to parent and nurture their children will have more chances to build a stronger home for their kids. When you teach men how to embrace fatherhood, you teach men to be present and responsive to their kids. Like a foundation in a building, this investment in the unseen support structure of fathering pays off. Knowledge creates power. This empowering of dads creates strong family foundations.
3. Dads will start to volunteer and participate more in your other offerings.
Here is the thing that many program coordinators aren't aware of: many men are uncomfortable in school settings. Women dominate most educational settings and it can be intimidating for some men to enter into these political structures. By offering fatherhood programs that help men understand their roles with their children, you are signaling that you are a "man friendly" institution and the you are doing everything you can to acknowledge and accept their gifts of time and presence.
4. Programs taught by men for other men model good parenting behavior.
As your programs grow and you can begin to train and utilize men as presenters and instructors, you will be providing a role-model of strong fathers. Although female instructors are very capable to teach essential concepts, younger and new fathers will especially benefit from having male mentors in training positions. There's an old adage that says "iron sharpens iron," and this is especially true in helping men become good parents.
Although fatherhood programs in your school or program will initially seem to be for the good of the men themselves, you will find that your entire community will gain from the time and resources spent on teaching men to be good dads
Kamis, 25 Mei 2017
Fatherhood is a Journey - A New Paradigm
Whether you're expecting your first child or your kids are grown and
on their own, being a dad is a new experience. When my wife was
pregnant, we decided to have a homebirth. We hired a doula and two
midwives. I won't tell you how much it cost. According to them and other
experts, labor was going to last 10-12 hours. My son had other plans.
My wife's labor was so short that the only other person in the room when
he was born was - guess who? - me. After nine months of preparing to
support my wife in the birth of my first child, there I was, with no
medical training, serving as midwife, doula, and doctor. I fought off
the strong desire to run out of the room as fast as possible. When I
caught Joaquin, I experienced pure exhilaration and love.
After only 2 days into Joaquin's life, I told my wife, "it's amazing how something so little can make me feel so inadequate." For the next few months, I experienced periods of intense anxiety. Realizing that I needed to grow just as Joaquin was growing, I started looking for resources to support me in what was sure to be an emotional journey. To my dismay, I found very little. Sure, there are father's advocacy groups and organizations dedicated to maintaining the traditional family structure, but as for resources that addressed the personal development of fatherhood - nothing. This was a sharp contrast to the wealth of resources for moms. I found magazines, support groups, books, blogs, and newspaper articles for new and expectant mothers. What I found for dads was mostly re-packaged how-to guides originally directed to mothers.
Even as a new father, I recognized that failure to acknowledge the inner work that must accompany fatherhood could have dire consequences on my personal and family life. This is not, of course, a new idea. In a recent article in Newsweek, a father shared that his wife had to parent him as much as his children, which led to a painful divorce. My own father told my mother that he wasn't ready to be a father after I was born. If we fail to understand, acknowledge, and do something about the emotional challenges that we experience as fathers, we run the risk of alienating our partners, our children, and, most of all, ourselves. We may end up leaving our loved ones and our emotional well-being behind. The logistical aspects of fatherhood aren't what tear families apart through neglect and divorce. No father ever abandoned his child because he couldn't figure out how to change a diaper.
The path of fatherhood has never been more rich or challenging. Provision of shelter and food are no longer acceptable as the standard by which fathers are measured. Our children, our partners, and our own innate intelligence dare us to be more - to be nurturers, companions, guides, and counselors. The dramatic increase in stay at home dads proves that the model of fatherhood is changing rapidly for the better. The fatherhood paradigm shift should not be underestimated. Without recognition that change requires inner work, we run the risk of missing out on all the opportunities that fatherhood provides to become a better man, a better partner, and a better global citizen. A fellow new dad once told me that fatherhood was wonderful because it burns up all of your bad habits. I don't know if I'll ever shed all of my negative patterns, but I know that I owe it to myself and my son to be as available as possible both emotionally and physically. If I don't, I might just give in to the urge to run out of the room the next time he decides to do something wonderfully unexpected.
After only 2 days into Joaquin's life, I told my wife, "it's amazing how something so little can make me feel so inadequate." For the next few months, I experienced periods of intense anxiety. Realizing that I needed to grow just as Joaquin was growing, I started looking for resources to support me in what was sure to be an emotional journey. To my dismay, I found very little. Sure, there are father's advocacy groups and organizations dedicated to maintaining the traditional family structure, but as for resources that addressed the personal development of fatherhood - nothing. This was a sharp contrast to the wealth of resources for moms. I found magazines, support groups, books, blogs, and newspaper articles for new and expectant mothers. What I found for dads was mostly re-packaged how-to guides originally directed to mothers.
Even as a new father, I recognized that failure to acknowledge the inner work that must accompany fatherhood could have dire consequences on my personal and family life. This is not, of course, a new idea. In a recent article in Newsweek, a father shared that his wife had to parent him as much as his children, which led to a painful divorce. My own father told my mother that he wasn't ready to be a father after I was born. If we fail to understand, acknowledge, and do something about the emotional challenges that we experience as fathers, we run the risk of alienating our partners, our children, and, most of all, ourselves. We may end up leaving our loved ones and our emotional well-being behind. The logistical aspects of fatherhood aren't what tear families apart through neglect and divorce. No father ever abandoned his child because he couldn't figure out how to change a diaper.
The path of fatherhood has never been more rich or challenging. Provision of shelter and food are no longer acceptable as the standard by which fathers are measured. Our children, our partners, and our own innate intelligence dare us to be more - to be nurturers, companions, guides, and counselors. The dramatic increase in stay at home dads proves that the model of fatherhood is changing rapidly for the better. The fatherhood paradigm shift should not be underestimated. Without recognition that change requires inner work, we run the risk of missing out on all the opportunities that fatherhood provides to become a better man, a better partner, and a better global citizen. A fellow new dad once told me that fatherhood was wonderful because it burns up all of your bad habits. I don't know if I'll ever shed all of my negative patterns, but I know that I owe it to myself and my son to be as available as possible both emotionally and physically. If I don't, I might just give in to the urge to run out of the room the next time he decides to do something wonderfully unexpected.
Rabu, 03 Mei 2017
Supporting One Another in the Pursuit of Responsible Fatherhood
We all want and need better fatherhood in our lives; whether it comes from our own fathers, our husbands, our parents, or from society in general. Responsible fatherhood is not a destination, but rather a personal dedication to a lifelong journey. On this voyage fathers need all of the help they can get, and who better to offer that help than other fathers whom they meet along the way.
Fatherhood was always an aspect of life that I knew I must explore. In the years leading up to my own fatherhood experiences I had an increasing belief that fatherhood was an essential ingredient in the character that I hoped to build for myself. Of course, I additionally felt the urge to pass along my knowledge, genes, morals, ethics, and philosophy to someone who I knew would become the most fascinating person I would ever know.
In early 2006, what was beginning to seem unlikely became very likely; my wife became pregnant. Once this news arrived I found myself looking for guidance. I wanted to learn more about pregnancy, delivery, and fatherhood. I wanted to be a better father for my son than my father was to me.
I began my research immediately. I brought home at least 15 different books on pregnancy and early parenthood. I also subscribed to a few parenting magazines. As I started sorting through all of these resources and I quickly lost my steam. Somehow, after 100 pages it all seemed the same to me. I started to feel as though my research was complete. Just as I was about to return to my usual non-baby and non-parenting readings I discovered an article written by a father hidden in the back of one of those baby magazines.
I was immediately pulled in to the article. Not only was the article written by a real father, but it was written about true fatherhood. This was not the textbook definition of fatherhood, but the realities of fatherhood, the struggles, the successes, and the fulfillment. I searched through the back issues and discovered that this was a regularly occurring column. I devoured each article and was left wanting more.
I've never been big into male-bonding, in fact, most of my friends have always been women; however, through those articles I discovered that fellow fathers could offer me something that no one else could. As I survived my first year of fatherhood I found my appetite for learning about other father's experiences and hearing their advice was never completely satiated.
As the surge of new fatherhood energy has long been spent and the challenges of true fatherhood have set deeply in, I've found myself unconsciously seeking out true fatherhood experiences wherever they may be found. Professional conversations with fathers inevitably turned towards the topic of fatherhood. In fact, almost every conversation with a father would turn to this same topic. I even began analyzing the fatherly point of view of characters in the few television programs that I follow.
At the core of each of these experiences, I wanted and I still want now to learn more about how other fathers are fairing in their pursuit of responsible fatherhood. I want validation for my own efforts and shortcomings as a father. I want to learn more about the reality of fathering in the context of the already fine balance between work, love, personal interests, health, and spirituality.
There is rightfully a flood of written and multi-media support material for mothers. Mothers know the value of receiving support from other mothers. Online websites, forums, chat rooms, etcetera abound in the support of motherhood and I couldn't be more pleased with this. However, I've found that similar support for fathers is severely lacking. I don't mean to say that there is not already some great fatherhood support out there, but it certainly pales in comparison with that which is made available in support of motherhood.
In the same way that I have gained insights into motherhood through reading mother-oriented content, I feel that mothers might gain the similar insights into fatherhood with the availability of more readily available online fatherhood content. This understanding might empower mothers by enabling them to provide more effective encouragement and support to fathers.
Nevertheless, children would be the biggest benefactors of an increase in resources that support responsible and true fatherhood. The quality and quantity of a child's interactions with their father would likely increase if that father were to receive greater support from a community of fathers who are facing the same struggles. This has certainly been my own experience. Additionally fathers with such support might also take a more active role in the indirect, behind-the-scenes care and planning of their child's intellectual, social, psychological, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.
The sparse articles, advice, and experiences on responsible fatherhood which are currently available have helped me to "raise the bar" of my own responsible fatherhood initiative. They have helped me "step up" to the challenge of fatherhood in the way that I had originally expected and sought after. These resources, along with my interactions with other fathers facing similar ambitions, struggles, and limitations have helped me to extend myself, to become a better father, and to improve my character, or so I'd like to believe. If this experience might hold true for other fathers then I invite fathers to seek out and build up online fatherhood content, to share and discuss tips and advice for fathers, and to exchange true fatherhood experiences in the pursuit of responsible fatherhood.
Fatherhood was always an aspect of life that I knew I must explore. In the years leading up to my own fatherhood experiences I had an increasing belief that fatherhood was an essential ingredient in the character that I hoped to build for myself. Of course, I additionally felt the urge to pass along my knowledge, genes, morals, ethics, and philosophy to someone who I knew would become the most fascinating person I would ever know.
In early 2006, what was beginning to seem unlikely became very likely; my wife became pregnant. Once this news arrived I found myself looking for guidance. I wanted to learn more about pregnancy, delivery, and fatherhood. I wanted to be a better father for my son than my father was to me.
I began my research immediately. I brought home at least 15 different books on pregnancy and early parenthood. I also subscribed to a few parenting magazines. As I started sorting through all of these resources and I quickly lost my steam. Somehow, after 100 pages it all seemed the same to me. I started to feel as though my research was complete. Just as I was about to return to my usual non-baby and non-parenting readings I discovered an article written by a father hidden in the back of one of those baby magazines.
I was immediately pulled in to the article. Not only was the article written by a real father, but it was written about true fatherhood. This was not the textbook definition of fatherhood, but the realities of fatherhood, the struggles, the successes, and the fulfillment. I searched through the back issues and discovered that this was a regularly occurring column. I devoured each article and was left wanting more.
I've never been big into male-bonding, in fact, most of my friends have always been women; however, through those articles I discovered that fellow fathers could offer me something that no one else could. As I survived my first year of fatherhood I found my appetite for learning about other father's experiences and hearing their advice was never completely satiated.
As the surge of new fatherhood energy has long been spent and the challenges of true fatherhood have set deeply in, I've found myself unconsciously seeking out true fatherhood experiences wherever they may be found. Professional conversations with fathers inevitably turned towards the topic of fatherhood. In fact, almost every conversation with a father would turn to this same topic. I even began analyzing the fatherly point of view of characters in the few television programs that I follow.
At the core of each of these experiences, I wanted and I still want now to learn more about how other fathers are fairing in their pursuit of responsible fatherhood. I want validation for my own efforts and shortcomings as a father. I want to learn more about the reality of fathering in the context of the already fine balance between work, love, personal interests, health, and spirituality.
There is rightfully a flood of written and multi-media support material for mothers. Mothers know the value of receiving support from other mothers. Online websites, forums, chat rooms, etcetera abound in the support of motherhood and I couldn't be more pleased with this. However, I've found that similar support for fathers is severely lacking. I don't mean to say that there is not already some great fatherhood support out there, but it certainly pales in comparison with that which is made available in support of motherhood.
In the same way that I have gained insights into motherhood through reading mother-oriented content, I feel that mothers might gain the similar insights into fatherhood with the availability of more readily available online fatherhood content. This understanding might empower mothers by enabling them to provide more effective encouragement and support to fathers.
Nevertheless, children would be the biggest benefactors of an increase in resources that support responsible and true fatherhood. The quality and quantity of a child's interactions with their father would likely increase if that father were to receive greater support from a community of fathers who are facing the same struggles. This has certainly been my own experience. Additionally fathers with such support might also take a more active role in the indirect, behind-the-scenes care and planning of their child's intellectual, social, psychological, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.
The sparse articles, advice, and experiences on responsible fatherhood which are currently available have helped me to "raise the bar" of my own responsible fatherhood initiative. They have helped me "step up" to the challenge of fatherhood in the way that I had originally expected and sought after. These resources, along with my interactions with other fathers facing similar ambitions, struggles, and limitations have helped me to extend myself, to become a better father, and to improve my character, or so I'd like to believe. If this experience might hold true for other fathers then I invite fathers to seek out and build up online fatherhood content, to share and discuss tips and advice for fathers, and to exchange true fatherhood experiences in the pursuit of responsible fatherhood.
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