Fatherhood, Why Everywhere People Are Raving About This Amazing E Book

Fatherhood, ah Yes, "becoming a Dad" maybe even for the first time is a daunting experience for you and brings along a whole array of emotions. Especially becoming a Step Dad is a road paved with mixed blessing and we are going to explore a few of these here. WARNING read on.....

WOW,I'm A Brand New Dad

• Am I going to cope with a newborn?

• Why am I feeling a bit left out?

• Having a baby is great, but what about me?

" HI, I'm Your Step Dad"

• Am I going to get along with my partners kids?

• Will the kid's accept and respect me

• How do I "keep them in line"

These and many more questions will be explored in the New and exciting e-book about becoming a father "Dad's All-Purpose Guide To Parenting". Taking on the responsibility of caring for children is never an easy task and "going in" totally unprepared is insane. Being a responsible parent doesn't come easy and you can't assume that your partner know all about it, so that you don't have too. Being a father is all about accepting the responsibility and admitting that you need some help and guidance, so...

For starters, it may well be of benefit to you to understand what personalities you are dealing with and how these interact with yours. Many new fathers make this mistake, and thereby isolating themselves from one or more children under the excuse that "we just don't get along". Remember when dealing with kid's, you can't "blame" them, for not getting along with "you"! Why? Because children always want to be loved and if you don't understand how to make them love you, then you are forgetting your own childhood and need to learn a few new things about being a father.

Furthermore after reading this important information, you will feel much more secure and in control. You will be able to see the task for what it is, a pleasurable opportunity to make yourself a whole bunch of new little friends and maybe even actually feel loved yourself, perhaps also for the first time in your life.

Being entrusted with Fatherhood is an awesome experience whether it be for a little new baby or the beautiful kids of someone else. Nothing compares in this world to the feeling you get when a "little" one looks you in the eyes and says "Dad, I Love You"

So Dad to be', allow me tell you like it is, because this is an opportunity too good to miss, "get rid of your ego, stop thinking that you are a "natural" at this, and read the e-Book! Prevention is so much better than the cure hence planning a strategy for the future is much better that trying to solve the mistakes you've made.

Fatherhood: Creating Memories for Your Child

Question: 30 years from now, will your child have good memories of you or will those memories be of a distant or disconnected father?

I do many radio interviews regarding my work with fatherhood programs. In one of my earliest interviews, the host talked to me about his how his 30-year-old son will often ask him about things that happened as the son grew up. The interesting part if this is that the dad does not recall these events happening. These are events that the son thinks were important. The host said to me, "I'm always surprised by what my son will say, because I don't even remember doing those things."

Well, I was not surprised. Looking back on my own life and talking with many dads, I know that we are making memories for our kids every day. Your kids will remember things you did that you will not. The quick moments in the car, the surprise trips for ice cream and other small things can make memories for your child. Your children are watching and experiencing every single thing that you do, absorbing your example like the little sponges that they are.

Not only will your children remember what you did, they will remember the lessons you taught them. The will remember the stories that you tell. Whether it is at bedtime, in the car or even standing in line at the grocery store, those storytelling moments are being stored in the minds of your children. So, tell stories. Learn to put down the storybook. Learn to be able to speak to your child at almost anytime about nearly anything that you want to. So, when your children are much older, they will ask, "Do you remember when we...?" You will most likely say, "What? I don't remember doing that!" They will answer, "But that made such a huge difference in my life."

You have considerable power with your kids. Sometimes it is hard for dads to recognize the huge influence that we have on our children. If ever you think, "Ugh, this activity is a waste of time!" I want you to remember this short article. I want you to think about that radio man and his 30-year-old son who said to him, "Do you remember the time that you...?" Some day, your children are going to look back very fondly on the memories you are making right now.

What will you do today to create a positive memory in your child?

Fatherhood - A Transcending Journey of Personal Growth

During a lunch conversation with an acquaintance, someone asked me,

'I heard your wife is pregnant. So, when will you become a father?'

'Actually I am a father already' I said.

'Oh, I didn't know your wife has given birth already!'

'No. She is still in her 1st trimester of pregnancy!' He was staring at me with funny look!

When do we become FATHER? Is it when our child is born or once he/she is conceived in the mother's womb? Not trying to be philosophical or abstract here. Fatherhood is not so much a biological process but rather a maturing process that will challenge us in many aspects of who we are as a person. Fatherhood transcends the title of being called a father or daddy! Fatherhood reflects our inner values, true character and virtues, if any.

I am a very 'matured' or aged father. My fatherhood did not arrive until the age of 46. When my wife was conceived, I couldn't quite grasp the reality that I am a father. I had long given up the hope of fathering a child. Suddenly, I was blessed by the goodness of the Creator with a child. To me, the little image that I first saw in the ultrasound image was an awesome and touching experience from Heaven. What I thought I could or would never have, I have all of a sudden.

Fatherhood is influenced by many factors or persons including our father, upbringing and personal character development over the years. Sadly, I have heard, known and seen some 'fathers' living without much thought of what it means to be a father, except viewing it as an inescapable attachment of a title and economic burden due to some natural biological consequence. The view of this new role as a heavy burden rather than a blessing seems to torment these men of such mentality and attitude. Our view of fatherhood directly affects our family and the fate of our next generation. It will have great impact on many lives, not just our child, but also our immediate circle of family. We can leave behind a legacy that can and will influence our descendants. However, let's limit our focus to the next generation.

We are responsible for who our children will grow up to be. Or, at the least, we play a key role in preparing them for who they might become one day. Many parents leave their child to the teachers at school. When something went wrong, they start looking for scapegoats. They blame the teachers and bang tables at school. Why are we blaming the school or the teachers? The child is ours or the school's? The teachers'?. Like it or not, we will shape our children future. More correctly, we will shape them for who they aspire to be or hate to be.

BUT, fatherhood takes more than just being responsible. Responsibility and accountability suit well for a job or at work. If fathers are merely being responsible and accountable, then we have not touched the heart of fatherhood. Trustees and guardians are expected to be responsible and accountable by the legal system. Yes, fathers are charged with responsibility and accountability.

Examine our motives and idea of fatherhood. When we nurture and teach our child, what are our motives and expectation? Are we holding the cane, trying to pound the child into our shadow? We are we. Our child is our child. Or, are we trying to beat and mold them into someone we long to be? What we could not be, we expect them to be? Worse, are we letting them to be molded and savaged by random environmental forces?

Fathers, sit back and examine our heart and mind. Fatherhood is more than the significance of a figure feared by our child. Fatherhood is far beyond the male ego within us. Fatherhood is our test of character. Do we love our child because of the biological connection? Do we love our child only when are free and convenient? If that is the case, we don't know what love is. We only loving ourselves selfishly.

The Eternal Father As Model for Fatherhood

    When we cry, 'Abba! Father!' it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God...
    ~Romans 8:15c-16 (NRSV).

If we cannot at first identify with God as our "daddy" - our Abba, Father - we cannot believe in the remaining aspects of the character of God. From this basis, our Eternal Father, we have life.

AN IMAGE OF FATHERHOOD ALL HUMANITY NEEDS

From this basis - a "fatherly" Eternal Father - we have bearing and derive meaning. From the vibrant image of God the course to fatherhood is set, and the drive to complete that course is engendered.

From this image, also, we have the wherewithal to believe that life is good because we have a God who loves us. Though many unbelieving kin may underestimate the value of this perspective, it is irrefutable - by the very nature and need of family that we all have - that God has created an indelible model for us to follow.

We were all once children; at that time we all needed responsible parents. It is only the rogue that never had this; never did they rely on worthy parents, for they never had them. There are many such unfortunates in this world. Why is it that they say they don't need good parents (or the Eternal Father)? It is only because it hurts to go there.

Nonetheless, we were all born to have an intimate relationship with our Eternal Father; the consummate Responsible Parent.

FATHERHOOD - INHERENT TO RELATIONSHIP

When we consider the innateness of intimacy between God as Father and us as his children we can see a connection, relationally, that bears primary consideration to all of life.

As the Eternal Father is inherently and magnanimously relational, so are we to be.

We can soon see that there is value in being a father and a human being to be relied upon, whilst there is little value in constantly disappointing the people who must rely on us. We're inextricably linked with the rest of humanity in deeply interdependent ways.

MIMICKING THE PERFECT MORALITY OF THE ETERNAL FATHER

Not far from knowing the cataclysmic difference between the morality of Divinity and that of humankind, we still have the power in the Spirit to draw upon in our decision-making.

We are, after all, children of the Most High God. We're nothing less than Divinity's kin - heirs to eternal fortune.

These facts are good both ways. Perfection is not required of us, yet we have opportunities every day, indeed every moment, to reach the heights of God - our eternal model of fatherhood.

Fatherhood - Children View the World Through Their Fathers

At a movie theater, a little girl had difficulty seeing the movie screen. She pointed to the man in front of her and whispered, "Mommy, I can't see through that man."

A nine-year-old boy asked his father a geography question while the room was full of a group of PTA parents. The father was embarrassed because he could not answer the question. No one knew that this incident shut down that dad, and the window through which his children view the world was closed.

Can your children see through you? Children see the world through your eyes. They have a view of the vast universe through your transparency. However, if that window closes because dad is absent, emotionally or physically, or because he has been embarrassed, you lose your superman status. I have taken a survey and dads agree: dads start to lose their wisdom at about the child's age ten or eleven and they don't regain it until the kids have a child of their own. By the time a dad has been put down a few times, depending on his relationship with his own dad, deep wounds of self-esteem start to become too painful. Often fathers cannot risk being upstaged by his own children therefore, he clams up.

It could be a sport that he boy enjoys, but that dad was not very good at when he was young, or maybe the child wants to play clarinet, whereas the dad was a basketball buff. Whatever it is, it can cause a rift that only time and maturity will heal. Fathers and feel put down, even if the child did not really mean it that way, and the transparency window is closed. The child can no longer see through dad to the world outside. If that window stays closed, dad will be put aside and the child starts to seek a window to the world somewhere else. Guess where he goes. You're right! He goes to his friends. Her peers, whose dads have also recently become stupid, become her new view of the world.

At first glance, this might seem trivial but look again. This is where youth in the western countries is much different from in eastern cultures. The independent attitudes of teens in the USA, Great Britain, and Germany for instance can be rebellious, angry and hungry for affection and acceptance. That is why many kids band together to make new heroes out of shirtless, long-haired, dirty, drug-logged rock stars. It makes sense. That is the farthest they can get from hard working, stone-hearted dad, who has gone to the garage to ease his own pain, to experience his own kind of rebellion.

Many men and women go through life emotionally looking for their missing father, desperately seeking dad! Even if dad is at home, he often is not emotionally involved in the child's life. Men, in general have only recently begun to play an active role in the child-rearing part of home life. Dads march off to work as they have marched off to war, and come home tired and beaten. Budding young men and women, needing the dad God intended, tromp around the house looking for a father's blessing like searching for a lost toy. Dad is nearby, but oblivious. The hole in his heart is just as big as the one his child is beginning to experience. He never got a blessing from his dad, so he has none to give. He knows something is missing, but he does not know what it is. He reaches for his hip pocket and offers what society has demanded he master in. However, material things, without father's blessing, without his love, without the transparency that every child (boy or girl) desperately needs, are ungratefully consumed. The dad window is closed. Yet work-robot, oblivious dad continues to provide more of what the child needs least. All through the children's growing years, they have been prevented from seeing life through the man intended to be their window to the world. They go out looking for love in all the wrong places. Life for most boys and for many grown men and women is a frustrating search for their lost father who did not give them protection, provision, nurture or a role model.

The Psyche of the Test Tube Baby & the Bioethics of Fatherhood

A generation ago the first "test tube baby" was born in Great Britain via in vitro fertilization (IVF) in 1978. Since then, more than three million children have been born with the help of reproductive technology. In fact, America's first test tube baby has had a baby of her own: Elizabeth Comeau, 29, delivered her first son, Trevor James Comeau on August 06, 2010. The advent of IVF provides a readily available option for single people and same-sex couples wishing to have children and with test tube baby technology the presence of a father can be deleted from the family equation. As the number of children growing up without a father continues to accelerate, attention must be focused on what the affects of father absence are on the children's emotional development.

The negative effects of father absence have been well documented and the statistics are grim:

* 72% of all teenaged murderers grew up without fathers. 1
* 75% of teen suicides occur in single-parent families. 2
* 90% of all homeless runaway children are from fatherless homes. 2

The decline of fatherhood is a major force behind many of the most disturbing problems that plague America: crime and juvenile delinquency; premature sexuality and out-of-wedlock births to teenagers; deteriorating educational achievement; depression, substance abuse, and alienation among adolescents; and the growing number of women and children in poverty. 3

Fatherlessness is a social problem exacerbated by the breakdown of the traditional family, the glamorization of single motherhood and the denigration of fatherhood.

In today's brave new world, in vitro fertilization is considered a commonplace procedure utilized by infertile couples and single women all over the world. As society evolves into this new era, we must consider the value of the traditional family structure, the rise in father absence, and the detrimental effects it has on children's cognitive and emotional development. The daunting psychological challenges confronting children that do not have both parents must be recognized as an alarming societal dilemma. Embracing IVF technology without fully understanding the consequences on these children's futures is irresponsible and short sighted.

Fatherhood Programs Help Your School Or Organization Grow

Fatherhood programs can not only help your school or institution connect better with men but also create some lasting benefits for all people involved. Here are four things to know about what fatherhood programs or presentations can do for your group.

1. You will empower men to be more active in their families.

Times have changed and men must no longer limit themselves to just the roles of just 9-5 workers who have no genuine contact with their kids. However, for many men there is still a divide between wanting to spend more time with their kids and knowing how to be active with their children. When you build programs that help men be better dads, you teach men how to move from being just a parent to an involved daddy.

2. You will create a more stable home environment for the children in your schools.

A parent who knows how to parent and nurture their children will have more chances to build a stronger home for their kids. When you teach men how to embrace fatherhood, you teach men to be present and responsive to their kids. Like a foundation in a building, this investment in the unseen support structure of fathering pays off. Knowledge creates power. This empowering of dads creates strong family foundations.

3. Dads will start to volunteer and participate more in your other offerings.

Here is the thing that many program coordinators aren't aware of: many men are uncomfortable in school settings. Women dominate most educational settings and it can be intimidating for some men to enter into these political structures. By offering fatherhood programs that help men understand their roles with their children, you are signaling that you are a "man friendly" institution and the you are doing everything you can to acknowledge and accept their gifts of time and presence.

4. Programs taught by men for other men model good parenting behavior.

As your programs grow and you can begin to train and utilize men as presenters and instructors, you will be providing a role-model of strong fathers. Although female instructors are very capable to teach essential concepts, younger and new fathers will especially benefit from having male mentors in training positions. There's an old adage that says "iron sharpens iron," and this is especially true in helping men become good parents.

Although fatherhood programs in your school or program will initially seem to be for the good of the men themselves, you will find that your entire community will gain from the time and resources spent on teaching men to be good dads

Fatherhood is a Journey - A New Paradigm

Whether you're expecting your first child or your kids are grown and on their own, being a dad is a new experience. When my wife was pregnant, we decided to have a homebirth. We hired a doula and two midwives. I won't tell you how much it cost. According to them and other experts, labor was going to last 10-12 hours. My son had other plans. My wife's labor was so short that the only other person in the room when he was born was - guess who? - me. After nine months of preparing to support my wife in the birth of my first child, there I was, with no medical training, serving as midwife, doula, and doctor. I fought off the strong desire to run out of the room as fast as possible. When I caught Joaquin, I experienced pure exhilaration and love.

After only 2 days into Joaquin's life, I told my wife, "it's amazing how something so little can make me feel so inadequate." For the next few months, I experienced periods of intense anxiety. Realizing that I needed to grow just as Joaquin was growing, I started looking for resources to support me in what was sure to be an emotional journey. To my dismay, I found very little. Sure, there are father's advocacy groups and organizations dedicated to maintaining the traditional family structure, but as for resources that addressed the personal development of fatherhood - nothing. This was a sharp contrast to the wealth of resources for moms. I found magazines, support groups, books, blogs, and newspaper articles for new and expectant mothers. What I found for dads was mostly re-packaged how-to guides originally directed to mothers.

Even as a new father, I recognized that failure to acknowledge the inner work that must accompany fatherhood could have dire consequences on my personal and family life. This is not, of course, a new idea. In a recent article in Newsweek, a father shared that his wife had to parent him as much as his children, which led to a painful divorce. My own father told my mother that he wasn't ready to be a father after I was born. If we fail to understand, acknowledge, and do something about the emotional challenges that we experience as fathers, we run the risk of alienating our partners, our children, and, most of all, ourselves. We may end up leaving our loved ones and our emotional well-being behind. The logistical aspects of fatherhood aren't what tear families apart through neglect and divorce. No father ever abandoned his child because he couldn't figure out how to change a diaper.

The path of fatherhood has never been more rich or challenging. Provision of shelter and food are no longer acceptable as the standard by which fathers are measured. Our children, our partners, and our own innate intelligence dare us to be more - to be nurturers, companions, guides, and counselors. The dramatic increase in stay at home dads proves that the model of fatherhood is changing rapidly for the better. The fatherhood paradigm shift should not be underestimated. Without recognition that change requires inner work, we run the risk of missing out on all the opportunities that fatherhood provides to become a better man, a better partner, and a better global citizen. A fellow new dad once told me that fatherhood was wonderful because it burns up all of your bad habits. I don't know if I'll ever shed all of my negative patterns, but I know that I owe it to myself and my son to be as available as possible both emotionally and physically. If I don't, I might just give in to the urge to run out of the room the next time he decides to do something wonderfully unexpected.

Supporting One Another in the Pursuit of Responsible Fatherhood

We all want and need better fatherhood in our lives; whether it comes from our own fathers, our husbands, our parents, or from society in general. Responsible fatherhood is not a destination, but rather a personal dedication to a lifelong journey. On this voyage fathers need all of the help they can get, and who better to offer that help than other fathers whom they meet along the way.

Fatherhood was always an aspect of life that I knew I must explore. In the years leading up to my own fatherhood experiences I had an increasing belief that fatherhood was an essential ingredient in the character that I hoped to build for myself. Of course, I additionally felt the urge to pass along my knowledge, genes, morals, ethics, and philosophy to someone who I knew would become the most fascinating person I would ever know.

In early 2006, what was beginning to seem unlikely became very likely; my wife became pregnant. Once this news arrived I found myself looking for guidance. I wanted to learn more about pregnancy, delivery, and fatherhood. I wanted to be a better father for my son than my father was to me.

I began my research immediately. I brought home at least 15 different books on pregnancy and early parenthood. I also subscribed to a few parenting magazines. As I started sorting through all of these resources and I quickly lost my steam. Somehow, after 100 pages it all seemed the same to me. I started to feel as though my research was complete. Just as I was about to return to my usual non-baby and non-parenting readings I discovered an article written by a father hidden in the back of one of those baby magazines.

I was immediately pulled in to the article. Not only was the article written by a real father, but it was written about true fatherhood. This was not the textbook definition of fatherhood, but the realities of fatherhood, the struggles, the successes, and the fulfillment. I searched through the back issues and discovered that this was a regularly occurring column. I devoured each article and was left wanting more.

I've never been big into male-bonding, in fact, most of my friends have always been women; however, through those articles I discovered that fellow fathers could offer me something that no one else could. As I survived my first year of fatherhood I found my appetite for learning about other father's experiences and hearing their advice was never completely satiated.

As the surge of new fatherhood energy has long been spent and the challenges of true fatherhood have set deeply in, I've found myself unconsciously seeking out true fatherhood experiences wherever they may be found. Professional conversations with fathers inevitably turned towards the topic of fatherhood. In fact, almost every conversation with a father would turn to this same topic. I even began analyzing the fatherly point of view of characters in the few television programs that I follow.

At the core of each of these experiences, I wanted and I still want now to learn more about how other fathers are fairing in their pursuit of responsible fatherhood. I want validation for my own efforts and shortcomings as a father. I want to learn more about the reality of fathering in the context of the already fine balance between work, love, personal interests, health, and spirituality.

There is rightfully a flood of written and multi-media support material for mothers. Mothers know the value of receiving support from other mothers. Online websites, forums, chat rooms, etcetera abound in the support of motherhood and I couldn't be more pleased with this. However, I've found that similar support for fathers is severely lacking. I don't mean to say that there is not already some great fatherhood support out there, but it certainly pales in comparison with that which is made available in support of motherhood.

In the same way that I have gained insights into motherhood through reading mother-oriented content, I feel that mothers might gain the similar insights into fatherhood with the availability of more readily available online fatherhood content. This understanding might empower mothers by enabling them to provide more effective encouragement and support to fathers.

Nevertheless, children would be the biggest benefactors of an increase in resources that support responsible and true fatherhood. The quality and quantity of a child's interactions with their father would likely increase if that father were to receive greater support from a community of fathers who are facing the same struggles. This has certainly been my own experience. Additionally fathers with such support might also take a more active role in the indirect, behind-the-scenes care and planning of their child's intellectual, social, psychological, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.

The sparse articles, advice, and experiences on responsible fatherhood which are currently available have helped me to "raise the bar" of my own responsible fatherhood initiative. They have helped me "step up" to the challenge of fatherhood in the way that I had originally expected and sought after. These resources, along with my interactions with other fathers facing similar ambitions, struggles, and limitations have helped me to extend myself, to become a better father, and to improve my character, or so I'd like to believe. If this experience might hold true for other fathers then I invite fathers to seek out and build up online fatherhood content, to share and discuss tips and advice for fathers, and to exchange true fatherhood experiences in the pursuit of responsible fatherhood.