Fatherhood: Creating Memories for Your Child

Question: 30 years from now, will your child have good memories of you or will those memories be of a distant or disconnected father?

I do many radio interviews regarding my work with fatherhood programs. In one of my earliest interviews, the host talked to me about his how his 30-year-old son will often ask him about things that happened as the son grew up. The interesting part if this is that the dad does not recall these events happening. These are events that the son thinks were important. The host said to me, "I'm always surprised by what my son will say, because I don't even remember doing those things."

Well, I was not surprised. Looking back on my own life and talking with many dads, I know that we are making memories for our kids every day. Your kids will remember things you did that you will not. The quick moments in the car, the surprise trips for ice cream and other small things can make memories for your child. Your children are watching and experiencing every single thing that you do, absorbing your example like the little sponges that they are.

Not only will your children remember what you did, they will remember the lessons you taught them. The will remember the stories that you tell. Whether it is at bedtime, in the car or even standing in line at the grocery store, those storytelling moments are being stored in the minds of your children. So, tell stories. Learn to put down the storybook. Learn to be able to speak to your child at almost anytime about nearly anything that you want to. So, when your children are much older, they will ask, "Do you remember when we...?" You will most likely say, "What? I don't remember doing that!" They will answer, "But that made such a huge difference in my life."

You have considerable power with your kids. Sometimes it is hard for dads to recognize the huge influence that we have on our children. If ever you think, "Ugh, this activity is a waste of time!" I want you to remember this short article. I want you to think about that radio man and his 30-year-old son who said to him, "Do you remember the time that you...?" Some day, your children are going to look back very fondly on the memories you are making right now.

What will you do today to create a positive memory in your child?